It’s also interesting to think about how your life’s purpose changes depending on when your final days are.

When I reflect on my life’s purpose from this moment, that’s different from when I was 21 and all the years around and in between. What’s further, all the life lived after 21 recontextualizes life before 21. As you learn and zig-zag, your purpose does as well, and new patterns emerge from your past. What I thought was a life’s purpose is proven otherwise, with time. And it’s not until those final days come knocking that we truly see, for the first time, what it is.

Reflecting on death does seem to be a healthy and beneficial practice. It reminds you of what’s important in your life in that current moment. It causes you to worry less and be more present. But I question if that’s the best way to set your focuses. I question if that actually causes blindnesses, like it seemed to do with me, and my purpose.

This is all getting too philosophical. All of this is to say, I think it’s better and truer to yourself, if you focus on internal calmness, rather than external purpose. If done wisely, I think you can achieve both without causing blindness and pain and not understanding.