In the first season of Westworld, towards the end, one of the main characters, Bernard, finally confronts the past memory of his son dying. Throughout the whole season, this memory revisited him again and again, yet it was too painful to let fully play out. Every time it arose, he ran away. Until finally, he gets the strength he needs to face it and relive it. What happens is an incredible scene and an idea that I see a lot in stories and life.

Once he relives it – he breaks into the other side. Suddenly previous memories which he used to be blind to he can remember, memories that he didn’t know existed. The memory of his son dying was so overwhelming that he was unable to experience anything else. But he did what we must do, he faced the trauma, he relived it, accepted it instead of suppressing it.

We all have these blockages, these unconscious defensives. Often with people who care and are persistent, we can break through them. People who love us enough to make us uncomfortable when the time is right.

One of my all-time favorite movie scenes is when therapist Sean (Robin Williams) does this, pushing deeper and deeper into Will Hunting’s defensives. “It’s not your fault.”

These types of blockages also extend beyond unconscious reactions, into deep layers within the patterns of the body which too we must breakthrough. In my own life, I’ve always had a poor relationship with my voice. It lacks power and wholeness. I mumble and eat my words. And most tragically, never have I sung karaoke for discomfort with shouting, singing, talking in a voice louder than a mouse’s whisper.

Once, in Vancouver, I witnessed a guy applaud another stranger from 100 yards away with a booming howl. I wanted that ability, but layers of my past block me from experiencing that. I must relive these stored emotions and fears and abuses to my body so that my voice can be free.

Only now, I’m starting to make true progress towards that, by playing around with my belly and my voice —- daily making all sorts of sounds, moans, sighs, screams, whimpers, releasing it all. Often I within my body I can feel these blockages. I feel these points of resistance, especially in my chest. And day after day, I uncomfortably face, feel, and release those. Soon, with persistence and presence, I will break into the other side, where I’ll feel a deeper layer of myself, layers of myself before these build up blockages, returning to child-like freedom. Heck, perhaps I’ll even sing a karaoke song.